What You Are Looking For

My "add value" list, too long for now, but here's a few faces...

I hope you know people in your life that add value.

Like, the other day, I had a friend and her son over for dinner.  We share Tuesday nights together because both of our husbands work.  I had bought a roasted chicken and made some sides.  As we cleaned up from dinner, she offered to cut the remaining chicken off the bone into a smaller container.  Me, not being a domestic diva, found the thought enlightening.  Normally, I would put the half eaten chicken in the fridge convincing myself that even though the last 18 times we didn't eat it, we would this time.  But thanks to the brilliance of my friend, the next day I made soup with the pieces of chicken.  Just by seeing it in a different form, I was able to use it in a different way.  Value added. Check.

The next day another equally great friend out of the blue asked me "How's your writing coming along?"  My honest response, "I'm struggling with feeling so vulnerable.  There are so many great writers out there how can I possibly add anything.  So I just haven't picked it back up."  Her response, "Why does it have to be the best writing out there?!?"  Point made.  Value added.

We coin words in our culture that take on extra meaning.  For example, "dreams" or "purpose" or "calling", these words for some bring great inspiration but for others leave them feeling left out.  The concept feels abstract.  Somewhere there is a desire to make a difference but they don't feel tugged or even worse feel overwhelmed at the thought of speaking to thousands in a coliseum or opening an orphanage in Haiti or even making large amounts of money.  So how do they find what they are looking for?  Where does their life make a mark that will not be easily forgotten when dead and gone.  It seems as though everyone desires to be remembered for something.

You find purpose by being purpose where you are.  Everyone's life imprint looks different so don't think unless I find my name in credit reels, have the most friends on facebook, or leave a lasting piece of art that you have missed your mark.  If you use your experiences, your talents and your concern for others to add value to someone else's life, just like my friends did for me above, then you have found purpose.  The more you become what others are looking for, the more you will find that your life has become exactly what you are looking for.

Now maybe you cynics are saying but I'd rather be Friend #2 than Friend #1.  Really?!?  Because these added equal value in my life.  Cooking meals does not come easy for me.  In fact making a meal, the thought process, the time, the emotional effort, then hoping and praying my children will eat it, and my husband won't say "don't make that again, it upsets my stomach."  That process takes longer and is far more arduous than writing this blog.  Seriously.  Don't ever prejudge the value of your contribution to someone else.

It must be said that adding value and sharing your opinion are not the same thing.  It helps to have a firm grasp on the difference. Value is providing what someone needed when they needed it and an opinion is something they can do without.  Their response and feedback will help you know which one you did.

This life tool is everyone has value to offer another.  Seems like everyone is searching for "purpose" like its the new energy source that will solve the world's problems. Just add value with one person, then another, then another, and before you know it, the next time you hear someone challenge you in your purpose or dreams, you will know exactly what yours is!