I've mentioned before in my blogging that my boys are competitive. To be frank, I find it obnoxious. It's not that they are competitive and like to win. It's that they are still children and think winning is defeating their own brother. They think making the other feel bad because they got the bigger slice of cake is the key to happiness and success. Somehow, their successes make them better than the other, instead of seeing them as a corporate win. I always make them repeat, "We are on the same team. We will not fight."
For Christmas, we bought them tickets to the Dallas Stars vs. Edmonton Oilers hockey game. They were so excited. The game was about 2 weeks after Christmas and everyday, Zachary, my youngest, would ask, "Hockey tomorrow?". When we got in our seats, they were mesmerized. No smiles (they posed for the pic of course), just blank stares, as their senses were overloaded, but their hearts were stimulated with glee.
![]() |
Daddy, Zachary (3) and Joseph (5) |
During the game, two players from the opposing team made a colossal collide. You couldn't miss it. They ended up on the ground as everyone else sprinted for the Oiler's end of the rink. The Dallas Stars had a 5 man-3 man advantage for what was only mere seconds but felt like much longer. I looked at Joseph, my oldest, who I was sitting beside and said, "Great example of why you don't fight with your own team member."
I understand fighting to progress forward. We don't need to avoid conflict. But throwing mud is not working through conflict. Throwing mud is tearing another down or exalting yourself unnecessarily. It is wasteful conflict that only makes one feel temporarily better but does nothing to build up the other.
![]() |
Zachary worn out after game. |